Daddy, can you fix it?

I love having Dad here with us, I wish I could keep him here forever! But I don't think Mom would like that too much. I guess she would have to move here too. The kids are enjoying having time with their grandpa too. Yesterday Katrina made a special cake- took her all day to make it. I went to bed right as she was serving it and had a quick taste- yummy!

I got to spend a lot of time with Dad yesterday, what a treat it was! I knew I had to cram questions from the past 17 years into one day, and didn't quite get to all of them. What a treasure to be able to ask advise, and get pearls of wisdom to replace the dark spots of inexperience, as well as to clear up areas of questions from the past.

On Monday Dad (being the wise mechanic he is) noticed that my brakes were squeaking. At first I thought that I would just make an appointment with the mechanic next week to have it fixed. But Dad offered to fix it. Somewhere along the 17 years of living so far away from home, I adjusted and stopped asking," Dad, can you fix it?" The thought hadn't even crossed my mind that Dad is here, he has the ability to take care of the problem. Honestly, I didn't want to bother him with something I could take care of myself (by hiring someone else to do it), felt it would be a burden, or was afraid he would feel we were taking advantage of him. But Dad willingly offered to take care of it, told me what he needed to fix it, came along to pick up the parts, and fixed it. It didn't cost that much for the parts, but we saved a lot of money not taking it to the garage. Than you so much, Dad! I really appreciate your time and effort. You are awsome!

There was one thing I finally drew up the courage to ask help for. (Sounds dumb, but it did take a bit for me to ask for help) There was a loose hose at the bottom of the windshield washer tank, and the fluid just runs out. I asked if he could help reattach the hose. Within the first 2 seconds he recognised the problem. I thought it would be a simple problem to fix, but his knowledge and experienced identified a larger problem- to complicated to fix right then. It would involve a new pump (which most places usually do not have in stock), removing the damaged one and putting in the new one. My first thought was ," Typical! I finally get the courage to ask for help and it is too big a task. Just when I thought I was asking for something simple, it winds up being something much larger than I thought it would be. I should have kept my mouth shut!"

But then I realised that it was not a dumb thing to ask for help. Now I can get the assistance I need and even ask in advanced to have the needed parts ordered. If Dad hadn't educated me a little in what the problem was and what was needed to fix it I would have felt cheated by the garage and not gone back to it! That would have been a bigger problem in the future.

So, I got to thinking. (It happens sometimes, . I try not to think all too often!) One of the things I have had to learn being so far from home for so many years is to FROG it. FROG stands for Fully Rely On God. When I moved here, I was thrown into a world that I knew no one, had no family to lean on, and even if I would have had the courage to ask a stranger for help(ha ha), I didn't have the language skills to do so. I have had to become a lot more self- reliant. After a short time, that fell like a ton of bricks, and I realised my short comings were many. So I had to start relying on God. At first it was a daily plead for help- we had no real income. (I was not allowed to work or get any kind of social assistance either because I was not a Swedish citizen and Kris was studying to be a doctor.) But as the years have gone by, we became a little more financially stable. I stopped asking God for help, because I could do it myself. I didn't want to bother God with the things I could take care of myself. But new problems arose, and I tried to fix them myself too. Only after I gave up and asked my Father God to fix what I thought was a simple problem did I realise that the problem was much more complicated than I first thought. It is a deep rooted thing that needs to be removed and replaced with a new replacement. (anger replaced by patience, pride with humility, stubbornness replaced with a helpful spirit...)The problems were there, and even if I had asked God for help earlier, they still would have needed the same treatment, but I would have skipped the time and energy as well as the frustration of not being able to fix it myself. So why am I still so afraid of asking for help? (Both God and those around me) Is it because I want to appear to be strong and untroubled? Or maybe I am afraid to show any signs of weakness. (Did that before and got majorly burnt!) Is it a personality flaw- a survival technique that worked in the past, and is comfortable? Hmm. Me thinks it is all of the above. So, once again, I must step out of my comfort zone, dare to look stupid and weak, and put my foolish pride aside. Time to get on my knees and ask the hardest question of all... "Daddy, can you fix it" And you know what? I know he can!

Dad, gifts and chocolate

DADDY IS HERE! My dad has come to Sweden to visit us, and I am so glad he is here. I must admit that the things I remember when I lived at home are not all the same with dad as I remembered. Let me explain.
Dad has thick black curly hair- well not now! His hair is still curly, but now it is more white than black, and not quite as thick.
Dad is a man of few words. I don't remember Dad ever talking so much before! What a wealth of information! He still needs to clear his throat before he starts sharing his thoughts, but he really has a lot to say- and most of it is worth hearing!
Dad is always at work- either his job, or on a list of things to do. This is the first time I recall seeing Dad not working on a project! (Besides when he was sick) COOL! I wonder how long it will take till he gets stir crazy?
But you know what? I also realised that I haven't lived at home for almost 20 years. I know I have changed a lot in these past years, of course even parents have the right to change, get inspired, have new goals and outlooks on life. Dad has survived a couple bouts with cancer, and I am sure that is bound to have a profound effect on anyone.
So, why do we expect certain people to remain unchanged through the years? Why do we lay that expectation on others, especially those who are older than us? Why do we expect those younger than us to change? Now that I think about it, it really is silly to think that my folks would be exactly the same as when I left home to move to Sweden.
Anyways, It is good to have dad here, to be able to get to know him again, and to let the kids have some fun with him.
I have a story to tell (actually I have many stories to tell, but one in particular is on my mind right now.) Let me preface it by saying that (number one) our family loves chocolate- especially the high cocoa content chocolate-70%. Also, (to understand what I have been thinking about) our church is in the process of discovering what gifts we have- each person is given a (of a few) special talents and gifts that God wants us to use to build His church, and glorify Him.
So, the story.
It was Sunday morning, and We all sat around the breakfast table before getting ready for church. We talked for quite a while, then it was time to get ready. We were in a bit of a rush, so no one cleared off the table- leaving tea cup and tea bags, bread crust, and opened bar of chocolate, and empty orange juice glasses on the table. (We remembered to blow out the candles)
We went to church, and then to a friends house for fika (coffee and a light snack). We were expecting Kris (hubby) sister for a visit, so we came home around 3 in the afternoon. I noticed some silver foil in Jackie's cage (our Jack Russel Terrier) and wondered what she got into. But she often finds wrappers and plastic to chew on, so I didn't think much of it. But a little while later, I noticed that she has .... regurgitated?! (threw up) something. She doesn't usually do this, so I checked it out. Sure enough- it smelled like chocolate.
Now, for us humans, this would have been annoying that someone else ate your chocolate, and nothing more. But for dogs, chocolate is poison. They cannot digest the chemicals in the cocoa bean, and it acts as a toxin, damaging their organs, especially the liver.
So, we did a little detective work and figured out that she ate about 65 grams of chocolate. A big dog would have gotten sick, but survived. But our little pooch weighs only 8½ kilos. This was a toxic dose, bordering on lethal. So, we called the vet, took her in and she got a shot. The shot made her throw up- over and over again. Each time she would get the shakes, begin to pant and foam at the mouth. Then the heaves. It was heart wrenching to watch it over and over again. But we knew the poison had to come out to save her life. We comforted her, held her between bouts, and helped her stand up when it was time for the next round. We stayed with her throughout the evening, and kept her warm, comforted her and let her know she was loved.
Later in the evening, the drugs wore off, and she had a bit more energy. But she tires out quickly, and sleeps a lot.
And now, the thoughts:
Each of us has a God given talent or two, sometimes more. We can often deny our gifts, wish we had another gift or even try to take the gift that someone else has. The gift God gave to me is tailor made for me, and is not intended for someone else. It may not be as glamorous as the person that can sing like the angels, or speak into the hearts of everyone listening. It may not make me famous or rich. But it does give a sense of fulfillment and peace. So, what happens when I try to imitate (take) someone else's gift? There might not be any immediate signs of trouble, no one will even notice! But, if I continue, I am eating poisonous chocolate. It tastes good at the time, but I am ultimately damaging myself. Hopefully there will be someone to love me enough to take me to the "vet", and love me through the heart wrenching medicine of getting back on track. But that takes guts. First, you have to recognise that even if the person is "good", it is not what God wants, it is not their gift. Next, you have to confront them, and do something they will probably not like or appreciate at the time. Then you have to love them enough to stay by their side through unpleasant times, even repeated experiences. In the end, you know you are saving their (spiritual) life, but you may never be thanked for it. Do we have the guts to do all that? Or is it easier to stand by and hope it will be OK? Hmmm. I think I need to talk to the vet about a few things in my life!
Luckily, I am not a dog, but I do have a God- and He said that I may eat chocolate- but stay away from the dog food!