Dance mats and fermented herring

Well, I recon it's about time to make another entry! Things are calming down now that the kids have returned to school. I have started chacing down a few jobs and doing some PR work. Of course I always have cleaning and dishes and laundry to do in case I get bored! That's to say nothing of the script for the instruction videos I am planning in swedish, making new stencils, and making an advertisment folder for the company. I think I need a nap just thinking about it all!
Our latest adventures have taken us to a "surströmmingsfest". Here is the translation. Strömming=herring (a kind of small fish), fest= party, and sur (in this case) means fermented. So I went to a party that had fermented herring served! Here is how it is eaten. First you take a large piece of very thin hard bread and (try to) spread butter on it. Then you take the herring (minus the bones and skin) and put the amount on the sandwich which you can (tolerate) eat. Here is where it gets interesting! I am still a bit green (inexperienced, not yet nautious) in eating this ... delicacy (?), so I usually smear a whole (tiny) fish over 4 sandwiches. Kris is a pro at this feast, so he usually takes 4 fish per sandwich!
After the fish are on their buttery bed of bread (hee hee- say that one fast if you can!) , you add raw onion, cooked fresh potatoes, and some sour cream. Eat either open faces or with a "lid"on it, and wash down with a clunk of beer. Most time is spent preparing the fish, all those little bones! And one more thing- it MUST be eaten outside, the cans must be opened outside as well. The reason for this is the umm.... fregrance.... (yeah, right!) of the fermented fish. Forget fermented- they smell ROTTON! THEY STINK! to high heaven! IT's so bad that the smell is detected blocks away, permiates into your clothes and even has a little laugh of it's own. It's not enough to have survived somehow getting the slimmy suckers past your teeth and into your stomache. The flavor comes to haunt you the next day in the form of the foulest burps you could ever imagine! It is worse than morning breath of the local swine! And, there is flavor added to it.I am not sure which is worse, the smell or the flavor left behind! But this is not the last laugh. Those sneeky little devils have one more trick to play. Sometime around 24 hours after the party (and 12 hours after the burp-a-thon) comes the other end of things. That's right, the "utfarts". Everything up till now was preperation for the real nasal challenge. Now, those fish had been "fermenting" in a can for 1½ years, plus the 24 hours in the digestive tract. Something happens to create a chemical (and aromic) inbalance. So, when the final release of the air bubbles is at hand, it might be a good idea to have a gas mask handy. The odor is unbelievable! If you are a farmer, or work in the forests or in absolute solotude (preferably outside), this stage is not that detrimental to the well being of your friends and loved ones. And if you are not fond of those you work with, than this stage is an advantage! (Be sure to have a cat or dog handy to blame it on!) But if you happen to work in an office building or anywhere that there are any living beings around, a forewarning is the minimum you can do, and practice up on the apologetic face and truely sorriful "excuse me"-s. Another option is to call in sick and say that it was something you ate. No lie there!! A few creative options could be to spray skunk perfume in your office, or have some "fart in a can" handy and say it is a new revised version- isn't it attrocious?! Then there is always the one where you walk to another persons desk, descretly fart (sorry mom. This one is not for you!!), and walk away. Return a few minutes later and comment on that discusting smell, what is it? Oh well, you get the point.
The whole ordeal is over when at last the funky fish make their exit and rest eternally in the sewer system, only to return again in 364 more days.
So, anyone coming over next year?